Life....

The past couple of weeks have have been so rough on me. I don't think I have felt this kind of heaviness in such a long time. I think it happens for a lot of reasons. Life is the biggest component. I get so busy doing life trying to keep on with the Jones' and I forget my family is Alderete and that is all that matters. I have been so overwhelmed lately. A lot of big things are happening in the Alderete family. We are planning to move back to the Dallas area for my husbands job. We are then going to have to look for a house to live in for the 5 of us. Yep you read that right we are adding a third little one to our clan. We are having a BOY. So we are moving , finding a new school and having a new baby. All that in conjunction of just trying to live life being a good parent and wife, employee , friend, human being to the world. Life gets hard. I hit my bottom last night feeling like I couldn't do anything else for myself or my family. I am so grateful to have a God loving husband though that prays and listens to God. Having him pray for me last night was the best thing that happened in such a long time. It was something I did not feel I deserved from him. I had treated him so badly these past weeks that I thought the last thing he wanted to do was hold me and pray over me and repeatedly say "Desi I love you" It was like having the arms of the Father around me telling me the same. I get tears just typing that. The arms of the the Father are so precious and I am not sure why so many people run from them when they are in need or trouble or distraught. The arms of the father are what have kept me from doing things that have crossed my mind because of the ugly devil putting dumb thoughts in my head. I have never felt depressed or felt like I Was ever depressed but I had such a heaviness of depression over me these past 2 weeks that caused me to be angry and hurtful to my family. It hurt so bad knowing I was hurting myself but also hurting the people I loved the most. Sure I Was good at going through the motions at church raising my hands but those hands were hands of desperation of Jesus come help me before I can't be helped anymore. But God........ He knew exactly what I needed, when I needed it. Such a sweet Father knowing me to my core. I wouldn't be here today without Him. Life happens. Good and bad things happen. How we react to them is a reflection of our relationship with our Father. There is a song by Casting Crowns called Held and there is a line in it that always blows my mind. It says " When your eyes are on the storm you wonder if I love you still, When your eyes are on the cross you know I always have and I always will."  Amen! Thank you Jesus. Dear reader know whatever you are going through big or small that God's got you. You aren't alone in this thing called life even if you feel like it. He's always near. Rest in His presence.


Love you,
Desi XO

The Mom Life.... got the best of me

You see those shirts for sale that say "I didn't choose the thug life the thug life chose me" Or "mom life the best life" and you get the picture. The mom life. It's different for everyone because well kids are all different. Even our own kids differ from each other and creates a unique enviroment for everyone. Society has pushed so many pictures and DIYs and outings that moms should do that it just creates more stress for us moms. For instance, this year my girls are older now they can choose what they want, more or less. In the past years for holidays at daycare I have always done homemade gifts for every student and every teacher. This year we went the night before and grabbed cards and a gift for just their specific teacher. The next day I felt bad. I felt like I had failed because society pushes on us to do cute juices that say " You're my main squeeze" and getting cuties saying " you are such a cutie". I couldn't even get the right size of plates for my daughters party. IT is what it is though. I let the pressures of this world bog me down where I began to doubt my ability to be a mom and a wife. And the reality of it all Mom Life got me. The good news is God is bigger. He knew what he was doing when he made me a momma at 21. The age that many feel that life begins and they can be free I was delivering a baby kissing my singlehood of just my husband and I goodbye. But that has been the best kiss ever. Being a momma of 2 beautiful girls and 1 naval orange my life means so  much. Sure I wipe bottoms, makes lunches, cook dinners, do laundry most of my time these beings depend on me. That is what makes Mom Life worth it. The beings we have to take care of. So this post might not mean anything to anyone but it was a nice reminder that i am not doing any of this for me. I am doing this for those that depend on me. That make it worth it. And the Once that created those that are worth it is the One that is going to give me strength from day to day to make it. Even if we have to fake it til we make it, we will get through this!


much love
desi

Hi Old Friend

Well I believe it has been a couple years since I last posted on my blog. I always mean to get on but I forget to .... you know life happens. So in the past couple years we have a 6 year old who started Kindergarten! She's totally crushing it too! And we have an almost 3 year old who is a FIRECRACKER but so fun and loving at the same time. I am still working the education world and the hubs is working as a tech for a local cable company. Life is sailing right now. We all know there are always waves though and you can't get too comfortable sailing. With that said we have some changes coming this year. We are not ready to announce because right now we are making sure we are listening to what Jesus is telling us to do. There is a lot of fear in the unknown but I have learned in the past that that really there is no point in freaking out about it because if it is meant to be Jesus makes everything fall into place. So I guess this was a quick reminder just for me ... God is always in control just trust Him.