Life....

The past couple of weeks have have been so rough on me. I don't think I have felt this kind of heaviness in such a long time. I think it happens for a lot of reasons. Life is the biggest component. I get so busy doing life trying to keep on with the Jones' and I forget my family is Alderete and that is all that matters. I have been so overwhelmed lately. A lot of big things are happening in the Alderete family. We are planning to move back to the Dallas area for my husbands job. We are then going to have to look for a house to live in for the 5 of us. Yep you read that right we are adding a third little one to our clan. We are having a BOY. So we are moving , finding a new school and having a new baby. All that in conjunction of just trying to live life being a good parent and wife, employee , friend, human being to the world. Life gets hard. I hit my bottom last night feeling like I couldn't do anything else for myself or my family. I am so grateful to have a God loving husband though that prays and listens to God. Having him pray for me last night was the best thing that happened in such a long time. It was something I did not feel I deserved from him. I had treated him so badly these past weeks that I thought the last thing he wanted to do was hold me and pray over me and repeatedly say "Desi I love you" It was like having the arms of the Father around me telling me the same. I get tears just typing that. The arms of the the Father are so precious and I am not sure why so many people run from them when they are in need or trouble or distraught. The arms of the father are what have kept me from doing things that have crossed my mind because of the ugly devil putting dumb thoughts in my head. I have never felt depressed or felt like I Was ever depressed but I had such a heaviness of depression over me these past 2 weeks that caused me to be angry and hurtful to my family. It hurt so bad knowing I was hurting myself but also hurting the people I loved the most. Sure I Was good at going through the motions at church raising my hands but those hands were hands of desperation of Jesus come help me before I can't be helped anymore. But God........ He knew exactly what I needed, when I needed it. Such a sweet Father knowing me to my core. I wouldn't be here today without Him. Life happens. Good and bad things happen. How we react to them is a reflection of our relationship with our Father. There is a song by Casting Crowns called Held and there is a line in it that always blows my mind. It says " When your eyes are on the storm you wonder if I love you still, When your eyes are on the cross you know I always have and I always will."  Amen! Thank you Jesus. Dear reader know whatever you are going through big or small that God's got you. You aren't alone in this thing called life even if you feel like it. He's always near. Rest in His presence.


Love you,
Desi XO