I'll Trust You Lord

      So are times in your life when you feel like you're on the top of the mountain. Then there are times that you feel so dark in the valley and nothing seems to feel like it will get better. But can you be on the mountain and still feel like you're in the valley? Sure its about perspective. I think that when you're on the monutain you get a better sense of how close God really is to your situation. You see the bigger picture and realize the the valley isn't really a valley at all but a state of mind.

     The new year started and in my last post I wrote about how much God was telling me to "believe Him" not just "in him." Believe his promises are "yes and amen" not " Ok God we will see how you pull this one off". I wanted to believe that second one today. I wanted to start to worry today about our family situation. We felt like the stool was knocked out from under us and we were holding on to a thread hoping we wouldn't fall and the stool would just stand up again. It's not happening though. And it was easy for me to just start saying "I can't believe this happened"and start complaing with friends. But then I felt God say don't you trust me? Being a believer it's easy to say " yes Lord  I trust you." but its easier said then done. No one really reads so I am going to just write it out theat way I can really write the way I want to. Jeremy lost his dream job today. There was a policy he was unaware of and because of that policy he cannot work ther anymore. He did nothing wrong but because of the strict policy they had to let him go. When I heard my mind starts racing towards our finances and we arent always smart with them. We definitely could not make it on my check alone so hearing the news my heart starts to grow anxious. but then I start to think, " don't you trust Jesus?Havent you always said desi that its ok if were not on the mountain because God is still God and even though in the valley you can feel like your on the mountain?"

      That's when it hit me. I didnt really trust Jesus like I said I did. It stung when I came to that realization. Immediately I started looking for jobs for Jeremy and nothing seemed right. and talking to someone they said just because he's losing this job doesn't mean that there isnt something bigger for him. Yes this was his dream job but that just it. That was his maybe not God's dream job for him. And we have to just trust that there is somethin bigger for him and it's coming and until then I am just going to continue to speak God's praises on my lips and speak of his greatness. No matter the circumstance and the Lord's joy will always be my strength. because it takes WAY more energy to mope and be sadeven though its easier but I know who my God is and I know that he is always on my side. Until then I am believing him for my family. I ask that yall do the same. Whoever reads this.

much love,

 

desi