I'll Trust You Lord

      So are times in your life when you feel like you're on the top of the mountain. Then there are times that you feel so dark in the valley and nothing seems to feel like it will get better. But can you be on the mountain and still feel like you're in the valley? Sure its about perspective. I think that when you're on the monutain you get a better sense of how close God really is to your situation. You see the bigger picture and realize the the valley isn't really a valley at all but a state of mind.

     The new year started and in my last post I wrote about how much God was telling me to "believe Him" not just "in him." Believe his promises are "yes and amen" not " Ok God we will see how you pull this one off". I wanted to believe that second one today. I wanted to start to worry today about our family situation. We felt like the stool was knocked out from under us and we were holding on to a thread hoping we wouldn't fall and the stool would just stand up again. It's not happening though. And it was easy for me to just start saying "I can't believe this happened"and start complaing with friends. But then I felt God say don't you trust me? Being a believer it's easy to say " yes Lord  I trust you." but its easier said then done. No one really reads so I am going to just write it out theat way I can really write the way I want to. Jeremy lost his dream job today. There was a policy he was unaware of and because of that policy he cannot work ther anymore. He did nothing wrong but because of the strict policy they had to let him go. When I heard my mind starts racing towards our finances and we arent always smart with them. We definitely could not make it on my check alone so hearing the news my heart starts to grow anxious. but then I start to think, " don't you trust Jesus?Havent you always said desi that its ok if were not on the mountain because God is still God and even though in the valley you can feel like your on the mountain?"

      That's when it hit me. I didnt really trust Jesus like I said I did. It stung when I came to that realization. Immediately I started looking for jobs for Jeremy and nothing seemed right. and talking to someone they said just because he's losing this job doesn't mean that there isnt something bigger for him. Yes this was his dream job but that just it. That was his maybe not God's dream job for him. And we have to just trust that there is somethin bigger for him and it's coming and until then I am just going to continue to speak God's praises on my lips and speak of his greatness. No matter the circumstance and the Lord's joy will always be my strength. because it takes WAY more energy to mope and be sadeven though its easier but I know who my God is and I know that he is always on my side. Until then I am believing him for my family. I ask that yall do the same. Whoever reads this.

much love,

 

desi

Hello 2014!

      Ahhh yes it is FINALLY 2014! Funny story, when I was a kid probably7-9 years old I would go to the restroom at Walmart ( when things were safe and there weren't too many weird people going around) and I would count up to see what year I would how old. I never thought I would end up being 26 this upcoming May in 2016. I thought Jesus would come by 2000. Of course He has other plans. Anyhow like I said I am about 26, Jeremy and I will celebrate 6 years of marriage, we have 2 beautiful daughters who will have 2 milestone birthdays, 1 and 5, and Jeremy starts a new job in a career that is a dream to him. With 2014 beginning and as I reflected on 2013 and what I wanted to try different in 2014 ( not really resolutions because I cn never keep them) I felt like I heard God tell me a few things he wanted to to do in me.

     Yesterday I was talking with a friend (well texting because we both were putting our kiddos to bed) and we were both talking about the particular seasons we were going through or coming out of. I told her I felt like I was finally coming out of my wilderness season. A season where I felt so alone and like nothing was going for me. I mean I tried notto take my job, house, or family for granted but I felt like I was stuck. Nothing was really making me happy. I constantly complained about things and never satisfied. When we moved back to Bryan from Dallas we thought we would have the same friends with their arms wide open for us and we come back to friends that have moved on or away and no longer had the "time" they had for us when we came to visit. This past year we have gone throught he transition of trying to find a church where we could grow in our walk with Jesus as a family, couple, and individuals. I was not reading my Bible or praying at all. Side Note: I heard Francis Chan speak on this and he said peole say " I'm not where I want to be  reading my Bible and praying, and his response was " no stop, you're just lazy." I was not where I wanted to be because I wasn't putting the effort. That was like salt on a wound for me. My Bible is always there and I can always pray but I found other things to occupy that time like, the kids, the tv, my phone and never took time for those 2 very important things for my life. I went for a walk one afternoon while the girls were occupied and Jeremy was able to watch them, and I just prayed. I prayed because I felt alone. I felt like the things closest to me were being removed from my life and it was hurting. I was hurt and alone and no one could comfort me except the Great Comforter. So I prayed and cried and said "Lord what do you want from me?" "Why I am I feeling this way, if i am always telling our oldest You are always there for us?"

     That's when I felt him say, "how's your faith with me?".  I said Lord I believe you take care of us and I know you are always there for us. and I felt him say, " but do you really believe it? Do you believe me?" WHOA talk about a slap in the face. I then read a part of Beth Moore's book Believing God, and she said the same thing! So I felt like it was confirmation. God wants to increase my faith this 2014. I can't say we have been on the mountain top much these days and alot of our time we spend it in the valley and I usually get real sad, depressed because of our circumstances but this 2014 I have decided to increase my faith. I want to really believe Jesus when he says he has blessings for me. When he says he will protect, provide, and be our ever present help in time of need, I want and will believe that for my life and the lives of my family.
 
     THe other night I was telling Jeremy, "I really feel like God is romancing me." I felt this way when I was at Bible School in Dallas. But there it was because I was in a bubble where we sang about his love, prayed about his love, experienced his love and learned about his love24/7. It was a bubble. Now that I am out of the bubble and I am expereriencing it on my own in such a vulnerable time in my life it feels so sweet to be pursued by my one and only and to want to pursue him back. I tuned in to the OneThing conference in December and Francis Chan ended his sermon with a statement that wrecked a lot of people, because they rushed the stage falling to their knees, and he said, " Strengthen what remains and is about to die." Can you say MIND BLOWN! That was me to a T. My spirtual life was to a point of dying and his challenge was to strengthen it before it died! WOW

    Thank you Jesus for that huge realization and helping me understand that he is WAY bigger then I ever imagined. He has been showing me in little ways (that are huge to me) how he remains faithful to always to provide for my family. Even the requests that go unspoken and that are in my heart he has fulfilled. Writing that made me tear up a little bit. He knows my hearts desires. My lover and friend.

     Well that's really wanted to share. Not to boast in anything but God's goodness towards me. If anything this is being written so I don't ever forget his faithfulness and goodness to me.

Much love,

 

desi

Lord Teach Me

I always thought I was a pretty humble person, meek and all. I guess when that's when you have to check yourself because you're probably none of that. My heart has always longed for my generation and the one behind me. I has always wanted to be able to get troubled teens off the street, help them get on their feet. When I met Jeremy and we started dating we would talk about what we felt we were suppose to do in the ministry. And lucky us we had the same vision. We wanted to have a place teens could come and hang out and be in a safe atmosphere We wanted to call it "Impact Now". Jeremy was already attending a ministry called SOS : Save Our Streets Ministries. They take the word to the streets and people' from all walks of life come together from Doctors, teachers, businessmen, former drug dealers, and ones still searching for the one we already call upon Jesus. When we moved back from Dallas, after attending Christ for the Nations, we started attending SOS. I began working at a charter school that was located in the SOS building. I began to see first hand the community that surrounded our school in a different light. I saw that they weren't just people wanting handouts but people wanting to know how to get back on their feet, how to function in society, and how to call on the one that we already did, Jesus. Oh the name of Jesus , as much as I wanted to rant off on this post I was lead to write about how people are seeking the one we already call upon and how despite the feelings I have about things no matter what I do people are still searching for Jesus and I can help somewhere even if its not exactly what I wanted to do. Jesus has a way of putting us in the right place at the right time and all He asks is that we become available to him. Sometimes we don't want to do what he asks and if we don't do it he will find someone who will and we lose that opportunity to be used by him. I don't ever want to miss an opportunity to be used by Him. I am not perfect, by all means I am SO FAR from it. I still have issues that I need to work out daily and Im learning daily that my mouth can hurt so many if I am not careful. I am learning that I need Jesus so much more then I thought and I want my daughters to see Him in me and want more of Him because of me. I don't Yesterday I wasn't feeling well and I asked my oldest daughter to pray for me. What she did next blew me out of the water, she said " Mommy give me your hand and close your eyes. She prayed Dear Lord thank you for healing my mommy. thank you that her tummy wont hurt anymore and she will feel better so we can go to SOS. Thank you that she wont be afraid anymore and if she pukes she can use my blankie. I love you Jesus, your name AMEN." Talk about feeling better instantly. To have a faith of a child and to believe that because we are praying to Jesus about it He already did what we asked for it is fulfilled is AWESOME!

Speechless

Two posts in one day, a little much one would say but I felt that this needed to be separate from the "family update."

     In February SOS, a local ministry that Jeremy and I volunteer at, is having it's annual Girls Retreat. They take their teenage girls to Still Creek Ranch and love on them and show them how much they are loved by their Creator. This year will be my second year going with them. The only difference is that this year I am going to be 6 months pregnant....... so wish me luck.

     After last year's retreat I haven't stopped talking that 2013's retreat needed to be different for these girls or we were going to lose them. A little background information on me: i love youth ministry. They may get on my nerves, make me cry, laugh, and want to pull their hair out but I LOVE THEM. My heart has always wanted to see a generation want Jesus whole-heartedly with no reservations. I believe that there are tons of youth ministers with the same vision but do they really believe it? DO they really want that, or in the back of their minds do they think," we can try but, we all know these teens are in too deep." That's what the enemy wants us to think. I think a lot of parents push their kids in to church in hopes of "saving " them but in reality that just makes their hearts harder towards Jesus , and it won't be until THEY decide they need to change that they will. How do we get them there? Prayer, love, and a LOT of patience.

     As I have been thinking about how this year's retreat could be different I have come up with a broad but such a profound subject these girls need to learn. They know that they are "God's Princesses." We all know that but do we all understand what that really means? Do we understand that with this title comes some stipulations but no requirements that would defile us as women or embarrass us to our core being? I believe these girls have been told by the world you can be a princess, but you need to please me when I want, you need to be a size 2, wear the less clothes the better, no one really cares about you they just want your body. and Love? What is that? only something that the world makes you think you get when YOU lower your standards. These girls have heard princess stories all their lives, Beauty and the Beast, Snow White, Little Mermaid ( my personal fave), and Cinderella. They see a relationship of a man a woman that is pure with obstacles but in the end they live happily ever after. That's what they grow up wanting , until the boy in 7th grade runs up and grabs her butt. Then Everything is shattered. Her dreams of being valued as a human being slowly start to slip away. Now she sees herself as just an object.

      There is a story in Ezekiel that depicts Jerusalem as a woman in the story.  It starts with a baby in a ditch with blood and the cord still attached to her. A man finds her and takes her in.He clothes her and cleans her up. He adorns her with jewels and shows her love. She becomes of age to be married and she and the man marry. They make a convenant to a each other, a promise to one another to love each other. ( What a love story huh) As tijme goes by she begins to slip away. she builds brothels for herself and pays lovers to come see her. She has the biggest most lavish brothels and as the Message Bible puts it makes it a place for her whoring. Her husband finds her and shows her everything shes done. How she's broken the covenant between them and given herself away after everything he has done for her. The best part is the end. He meets with her and says ( my paraphrased version of course) " I have made a covenant with you and you broke it. I promised to love you and you threw it away. I come before you now to say I want to make a new covenant with you. It will be a covenant where you will remember your past, you wont forget what happened. but with the new covenant , after I make atonement for you, ( after he fixes her problem cleans up her mess which is AMAZING by the way) you will speechless." The End

     Can you imagine that for jus a second? Imagine every wrong you have ever done and how you have hurt God by your words and actions and how at times maybe you have turned away from him because you didn't feel him "near", imagine him cleaning up YOUR mess and saying hey, I am going to take it  upon  me to fix this for you and leave you speechless on what a change it will be. Which is EXACTLY what happens when we decide to live for him. He takes our world and turns it around and the change leaves in awe of what our Creator can do for us. I a couple that we met while at CFNI who you would never guess that they were at the bar everynight and weekend they got. They would leave their kids with family just to be able to drink and smoke. They couldn't give a rip about their kids. When we met them of course God had already taken over and this couple LOVED..... no no no ADORED is a better word, they adored their kids and if they would never have told me about their past..... I would have always thought they loved Jesus and lived for him all their lives. SPEECHLESS. It left me speechless. They remembered their past but saw what God did for them and their lives left speechless. HOW AWESOME!

     That's what I want to do this retreat. I want the girls to understand were all going to have a past. Were going to have bad parts in our lives we want to forget and never relive, but once we let God atone it for us, or take care of it for us, our lives will forever be changed and be left speechless.

     Maybe I needed to hear it more than the girls do but it's something on my heart that I couldn't hold in anymore This world has left woman old and young to think they have to be something that theyarent and all our Creator wants us to be is loved and cherished for who we are. No matter how hard it takes us to believe it ourselves. Were worth it.

much love,

 

desi

Oh What a Year it Will Be!

     Welcome to 2013! I know it's a little late...... but life sometimes gets a little busy and blogging doesn't become that priority in my life that I wanted to make it. Hopefully this year with everything that is going on I will blog more so I can remember events through the beautiful chaos.

     What is the beautiful chaos happening this year you might ask? Well, in September 2012 we found out we were going to have another addition to our beautiful family. It was something we had been praying and waiting for. It took a lot of self control , and friends reassurance to trust that God would do it in His timing and when He saw we were ready. Bam! It happened just like that too. Since we got pregnant in September, we are due at the end of May. Which is perfect because we are both in the education field and get the summers off so we both get to enjoy this new bundle of joy along with her big sister, Ava. This is a big deal for us because we always have prayed that if we had a baby it would be at a time where we both could work together and see the baby more instead of switching off baby duties while the other goes to work.

     We found out in January that we are having another little girl! We can't decide on a name yet. We just want something that is timeless yet a little different. Who knew it would be so hard :) We have a few ideas but still nothing is set in stone I am sure when it is everyone will know.

     As for Ava, oh my word, she is the coolest kid right now! She says the funniest things and the wittiest. She has a heart of gold when she is content, but when she's having a rough day its more like a heart of white gold :) No really she has grown to be such a cool kid. she has a loving heart and awesome attitutde and she just wants to be a kid. She doesn't want to be grown or act like the big kids she just wants to be Ava. Thats the best thing I could have asked for. She loves being in church and being around people who love Jesus. I didn't think she could tell the difference but she knows when a person loves Jesus and when they don't. I seriously am overwhelmed at what the Lord has done in this little girls heart. I can't wait to see the plans he has for her either. I'm being a sappy mom but seriously.

     Family updates:
     We have 2 weddings , 4 babies, and a graduation happening this year ALONE! Crazy right! In August we have 2 weddings, one that Jeremy and I are standing in with the Bible. We feel so honored to be asked to give this to the newly wed couple as they start their journey as a married couple wanting to know the ways of the Lord. The second wedding Ava will be a co-flower girl. She's pretty stoked about the position and I think she's at the right age now she can finally shine as one of those sweet girls walking down the aisle. The summer is full of babies for our family. I am due in May my cousin is due in April and another cousin is due in July. My sister in law , whom PRAISE the LORD is pregnant is due in June. Just a little backgroud information, my SIL was told she could never have a baby on her own ever again due to a condition she had. She would only be able to concieve through invitro. Well look here DOCTOR, we have a DOCTOR of DOCTORS and she and my brother conceieved with OUT invitro and are expecting the bundle of joy in JUNE! BAM! We are so excited for them. She thinks she steals my thunder because she got pregnant with my neice when I had Ava as well but I wouldn't want it any other way. Who cares, I LOVE being pregnant with other ladies. It helps me know I am not alone :)

      That's it for now I just wanted to document some things before I forgot. Life is good and God is always good! What a great combination.

much love,

 

the alderetes

Walking at the Park Pays Off

Who would have thought walking around the track at CFNI 2-9 months pregnant I would have gotten everything I prayed for. I know prayer changes things and calls things to existence. I have seen it happen through our 3 year old. When we lived in Dallas and attended Christ for the Nations (CFNI) I was in the stretch of my college career there and was about to have our 1st bundle of joy. I would walk the track and pray for the one who was inside of me and for her future to come. I saw the world as it was then and knew that it was only going to get worse. I prayed over her for peace and love to surround her. I prayed for her to make good decisions as she grew up and she would know the difference when she wasn't sure. I prayed that she would change the atmosphere when she entered the room. That people would feel peace when she entered the room. That she would brighten the room up with her sweet presence. As the years have gone by I have seen those prayers come to pass and she's only 3! Can you imagine what is going to become of her as she continues to grow in the Love of the sweet Lord and His Presence. I get teary eyed thinking of the times I have seen her raise her hands and close her eyes with a smile up to the Lord. How does that happen? PRAYER, leading by example, a good church family, and last but not LEAST the covering over her life that Jesus has on her. None of this is to boast, because I only boast in what the LORD has done not our own doing. He has been so good to us and I know as long as we decide to follow him and his word he will continue to cover us. I never want to be without his covering ......

All of this to say, prayer works and is real and a living way to get in direct contact with Jesus. If you need him prayer is the best way to contact him. Not facebook, instagram, twitter, or text but on our knees, in the car, or walking around the track at CFNI He hears you. Be encouraged

Love,

the alderetes

Vacation

The Alderetes havent been on a vacation in a very long time. That is until last week. We had so much fun! We went to Port Aransas, Texas and stayed in a beautiful beach house with the people we love the most, family. Though we would come home from 5 hours on the beach and walk around a sandy house we enjoyed every minute of it being around those we love the mostest :) Ava had never really been to a beach and played in the sand and salty beach , but this trip she wasted no time. She was in the sun almost the whole time we would be at the beach unless she was hungry, in which she would say , "Momma i Hungry." WE had a luau friday night where the family got together and we celebrated our cousin Jonathons birthday. Thursday was Jeremy's and I Anniversary, 4 years of marital bliss :) We had our brother and sister in law watch Ava and we went out to eat at a local seafood restaurant and walked the local shops. We then took a little stroll on the beach and reminicsed on our 4 years together. I love that man, Jeremy is a great father to Ava and a hard working husband for our family and I don't know where I would be if I didn't have his help. I don't know how single parents do it. I can barely do it with a partner , so if anyone reads this and is a single parent more power to you! We are now home and we are
going full  force for the next few weeks. We have our church's 7th anniversary services this weekend, we have school starting in about  a month, and we are planning Ava's 3rd birthday party. crazy! All in all we are enjoying life and learning along the way.

Some things I don't want to forget about Ava:

-She likes to get on her portable potty and yell, "Ladies and Gentlefam, al the boys and girls , now its Ava singing twinkle, twinkle little stars, (or here is freshbeat band, or here's ava)
- everything is a "great idea"
- she carries her babies around changing them and feeding them and saying the baby wants tea or dr pepper...... sounds kinda suspicious to me :)
- she is a care giver she hates to see people cry and wants to fix it as fast as possible
- her favorite shows right now are: wordworld, clifford, dora, and the bird movie a.k.a Rio
-she practically potty trained we just have the occasional accident and need to work on night potty training.
until then,

much love,

the alderetes